Another few days comes and goes so quickly. I often find myself looking up at the sky and wondering how it could fly by so quickly, without notice of its little namesake, its so tiny Skye beneathe the sky. I wish I could fly-and not just by means of the cannon. Fly high up above and see everyone like miniature ants below, and feel apart from time up there, apart from fear and fright and raids. But, that is a childish wish, and like almost all such dreams it'll fade swiftly into smoke and fade away.

Wandering thoughts aside, I went and trained a bit again today-Wil threatened to kick me out of Cerbies himself if I didn't go out and train. And he won't let me back until I level, neither! Shame of that man, keeping a poor lady out in the cold, forced to trek to the Wastelands and face such perils! Even if I was beginning to become a permenant fixture...and drink all his lemonade.

Strange, I've been offered places in two other guilds, if I should so desire. I find it...interesting. Do I neccessarily put off an air of need, of lonelyness? I often ramble on so, to friends and newly met acquantainces...but, I don't think I have a sign that says 'needy'...do I? Not that I'm upset with the offers, merely...curious as to why I'd be so sought after. I've done my fair share for my previous homes, and I've also done my fair share of leaving and breaking away. As much as some would like me to be with them, I think they'd find that the one they talk to at an Inn or pass on the street can be a different lot altogether when accepted fully as a family member.

How curious, the randomocity to coincidence, which at times appear to not be coincidences at all. But rather, fate...if you can believe in such a thing. Belief in fate requires belief in general-something also known as faith. And, in speaking to a Knight today too, I found I have little faith at least in myself, though an awful lot in Valorn in general. Strange, I know-to have faith in something larger, and yet a reserve in your own capabilities. I find that most people seem to find strength with their own resolve, and fear at a lacking in others. But, I am what I am and pretend to be nothing more. Though, the rambling philosophical side of me could use a good whack over the head at times.

But, today had also been interesting, in dicovering a fellow philosophical mind in a lady cleric. Alas, she compared me to a priest!! My roguessness must be getting rusty, I ought to go and do something terribly wicked to uphold my reputation! But, then again...I'm naught but a lazy soul at heart. So, continueing in my meandering training seems the safest course...I think.

Training with only one eye has been...well quite honestly, its been totally rotten, but I've known others who've faced worse. Besides, I think the scars must add some sort of dangerous, wild look to me-least, I imagine they do. There is also something satisfying in dealing more blows to the ilk of the rotten creature that ruined my eye-as me and the Knight also talked of, anger is useful when you can control it.


Despite the hardships faced recently, I've been surprised at Ellyana's tenaciousness in starting her own guild. Even more surprised to hear her offer me a place in it! I've known her for quite awhile, and yet I'd never though of actually being family to her. I don't feel right taking it though. I had to quit the fellowship, for fear of my own lacking qualities. I'm not much of a fighter, nor much of a person at all cept when one's looking for a song or a thoughtful moment. Or a laugh, I suppose-I do some ridiculous things at times that seem to inspire laughter. But, I felt useless, and felt that perhaps it is time to be alone again. The best way to avoid hurting others is to avoid others altogether.

There is much to tell, and yet at the same time there is little that I could truly express here. I've often sought the sympathetic ear of this journal to pour upon my troubles, but much as troubles come and depart, there are always new ones-alas, this is life I suppose.

After that warped bear took a mauling to me, I know I wandered around the Wastelands for quite a while. I remember following my own trail of blood in useless circles, and I remember calling for help. But, no one was awake, and no one was there. I took shelter in the base camp, somewhere just north of Branishor. There for a couple days, I gained strength and finally made it to Branishor. Unfortunately, Falson was the first cleric I happened upon and didn't have much good news to say about my eye. But, he did try and even though I shan't see out of my left eye again, I'm surprised to find that...I'm not surprised or angry at all about it.

Until the scratches across that part of my face fade, and my eyes begins to look less of something out of a horror story, I'll keep that headband tightly in place. Even though it itches something terrible at times!

But, thats the relating of a fact, something that merely happened to me and should be told about. It is not something I lament or mull over-it just is. What is noteworthy, is that the more my body is tested, tried and trained, the more settled my mind becomes. Despite injury and defeat, somehow my mind is assured of a return to strength.

But strange, the opposite is not true...my mind, fickle creature, may go on long, morbid walks while the body is in perfect health...if only I could co-ordinate the two